Theism.Deism.Love

Everyone needs a quiet place to reflect and soak in the good and evil, the ups and downs, the successes and tragedies that constitute the human experience. For me, at the end of long, stressful school+work days, I periodically seek stillness in the quiet of my lime-walled, black-furnished, fake-wood-floored office. I warm my hands with chamomile, my body with the aroma of a cucumber-melon candle, and my soul with rest of simply being.

I try to avoid over-thinking everything, and I am occasionally successful, but sometimes I grow tense from the disconnect between what I believe and what I know. I am often troubled by my own struggle between being a theist, and a deist. How much, how often, and why does God interfere with the natural world—or how is the natural world his intervention? I have a range of thoughts, I try to consider both science and experience, but in all honesty, I would rather just live and explore the concept than form any solid conclusion at 19 years old.

Nonetheless, I do have this one thought: deism does mean that, though I follow the way of love, in this life, I am still subject to the turnings of the natural world, and there is no guarantee that my ventures will not end in utter failure. Now, perhaps I believe in some sort of balance (i.e., God's will may be sovereign, and his followers' lives may be held protected in the sense that his plan will prevail—but again, that's where I throw my hands and surrender to the fact that I simply don't know how God works.) Does this mean that we should balance living in love and living in 'worldly practicality'? I don't think so. What I've been realizing is that I don't love so that. Jesus didn't teach us to love so that. We don't love so that people will 'come to Christ,' or so that we will lead successful lives, or so that we will win in the end, or so that anything. NO! We love because we are obedient to God's ultimate command that we should love [Matthew 22:37-40]. We believe that, because God said so, LOVE is the goal, LOVE is the meaning to be found in life, LOVE is nature of the kingdom of God. [Of course, our definition of love is always too narrow or too wide, but we're always learning, and genuineness begins in hearts of humility and obedience.]

Does love guarantee success? OF COURSE! LOVE IS SUCCESS!